Many years ago, in a previous life, I used to fly on 727s with a Captain who, in the interest of protecting the guilty, I'll call, Percy Goodfellow. One night, after a late flight, Percy drove home and parked his car in the driveway at about 2AM. He quietly walked up to the front door and put his key into the lock to open it. To his surprise he found the door unlocked, so he walked through and went quietly into the loungeroom where the street light outside was streaming in and gave him the light he needed to undress, which he did in the loungeroom out of consideration for his wife, Grace, who he knew would be in bed asleep. Once he was undressed, and still being considerate of his family, Percy tip toed down the hall passed his teenage sons' rooms, to the room he shared with Grace. He tip toed to the bed, gently drew back the covers, lowered himself into the bed and snuggled up behind Grace. When Percy was comfartable and had stopped moving, Grace said, "Did you have a good flight Dear?" Percy, surprised that Grace was awake, said, "How did you know it was me, Old Girl? The front door wasn't locked when I came in. I might have been some lout off the street come in to ravage you." "Oh Percy," Grace said while chuckling, "I knew it was you. Who else but a woman's husband would creap into her bed, put his hand on her breast, and break wind?"
